Catherine got Facebook(ed)

Woke up, opened the windows, cold air chilled her face and dried her lips.
Everything outside is covered in snow. Its hard to find anything green.
The day is very sunny and she wanted to be out, but its really cold.
She closed the windows and as usual went to her laptop and started reading online news.

This is me Catherine Facehooker, I want to post you how I got facebooked. 

News? all that am reading comes under this category? 
Nonethless I want to know whats going on in the world.
Whats my fellow humans thinking about, what they are doing.
The only thing I can't live without is information, 
actually the ability to somehwat sneak peak into everything and everyone.
If everyone had a cam over their head and were streaming it would have been really nice, except me.

The day I started using google, it was nice.
I started to read, watch things I wanted.
But it was always a big effort, I had to search and find from a big list.
Though the search list got improved over the years,
I had to remind myself of what i wanted and force myself to type.
And the curiosity, out of not knowing wether there will be a better item in the next page
forced me to go through atleast half of the google results.
Ha... its very time consuming and it kills the excitement.

Its manageable to live alone and its fine not to have a boyfriend.
With no internet and no news I will die thousand times a day.

Then came Facebook. starting with an F.. wow i was f*** out with joy.
I mean freaking out with joy, yea i know, ugly you thought something else .

Facebook keeps me connected, with people I like and I don't like.
Facebook gives me all things they do within seconds.
Username, password, click, I am in your world, if you are one of my connections.
I can see what you read, I can see what you like, I can see with whom all you go around.
I can see whether you are putting those extra pounds or you are working out.
I can see with whom you spend more time with. I know what you are.

I like to use the word connections rather than friends. 
Most of them are people I just know, I had met once in a while here and there.
Some of them are connections I got accidentally connected because of my own ignorant clicks.
I have some of my close to heart friends also connected in facebook.

And then there are boys, I learned something about them,
Even if you want to ask them the way to the nearest cinema, never start with your name.
They will search you and find you in facebook. Catherine from Connecticut..
Done, you are found. I have my pretty face on my profile, so its easy for them to figure me out.
May be my figure is so awesome , i am never out of their minds after the flashy few seconds i spend asking my way to the cinema.
Ofcource I can reject these request, but i want to know what he is doing also ("grin").

Back into my closed warm room, looking at the updates of my Facebook connections.
I guess i am getting better ideas about some of the people i have been connected to.
In better ways than i could have in direct interactions with them.

Some of them are disgusting, want to please everyone who can be of some help in the future.
Some, are tasteless, want to like every ugly picture, may be they want to be neutral to everyone.
Some of them are crack heads in their own ways.
Some are religious fanatics, who want to use every platform for expressing how good is their religion.
May be to impress their fellow fanatics, how much devoted they are. They seem to have been born for their religion,
Good that no human sacrifices being practiced today, otherwise i would have missed them in my Facebook network.

After office its a really good past time to go through all these updates. 
You can keep a tab on your ex colleagues. Its nice to know what they are doing.
I can see with whome now my favorite (or useful i don't know) Josh hangs around.
Hmmm what to do. He was a very useful guy and used to hang around me in the office.
Really good help, he used to help me with my work and the best thing about him..
He was a really punctual alarm clock. When I have lots of work to do, I often foget my cup of coffee and the short walk to the cafeteria(its really a healthy habit).
But after he joined our team, He never missed me for the coffee time and he was a source of free cookies too(from the canteen).
But he got nothing from me. haha. poor guy, but still i dont want him to hang around that Susi,
thats what I am watching for, until now everything fine. She is with that crack head who left in a funny way from our team.

One day this guy came to our manager and said he want to resign and should be allowed to leave immediately.
Our manager said no, you should complete the transfer of your work just  like others.
Then he said he has got a heart problem and he can work no more.
I thought Susi was on top last night, everything else seemed alright to me.
I wanted to know what he is doing now. Oh now he is advicing one of my ex colleagues.
Why he should be respectfull of his employers and how changing the firm shouldn't make the old one look bad.
Funny isn't it. 

Then there are some guys who are always extra decent. 
I have noticed many of them ogling at me when i walk into the cafeteria.
But when I am online they come asking "is it approriate for me to talk to you now",
"If you are busy please post me a message when you become free, i will wait"
They always keep their moral high ground in their post.
Reading their post are like reading the letters of saints or some religious texts.
A few of them sends out advises out for nothing. One free advice every month to everyone based on his experiences.
Oh how awesome experience rich is his life, one may wonder. Good that I at least know how are they in real life. 

One day I saw picture from one of my connections, standing outside a New York high rise. 
Then I saw this comment from one of his friends, asking him, "have you been on the top restaurant- the food is awesome good".
I wish the restaurant was not open top, its really windy up there always, you know.

One day I saw a picture, one of my connections liked it, his friend with a new BMW, then his other connection couldn't stop himself from typing
" is it the 328, my 335 looks very similar".  How awesome isn't it.
All of this sounds like. Any way i missed a chance to boast, now i got a second not so attractive chance, better don't lose this time.
But the funny thing is, I now know two guys with BMWs and I am single. But both looks kind of bulky fags, with bald head, at least 36 waist line. 
May be all working too hard or seldom moves from the bucket seats, I lost interest after checking out their profile photos.

Some were always feeling themselves superior to me and they want to keep it that way in virtual world too.
I am online, she is online. She will talk only if I send her something. She will never take the initiative.
She is the Queen and I am the subject or may be She thinks that I think I am the Queen and she don't want to make herself look like a subject.
Complex networks that boost one's own complex.

Some are very good in ways I never knew and I am unable to express it because the person is male or
May be an ex-boss or some one who has got something better recently. Just to avoid being myself getting hooked to anything other than facebook. 
Who knows how people are going to receive and watch my pleasantries. Guys!! oh my god. I can't say anything good to them.

I have close to heart friends who are outside my Facebook network and outside all this inter connected network.
And who seldom talk to me or chat with me. They seem very nice and better connected than all this connected people.
sometimes I wonder, are these networks connecting you together or connecting you apart. 
All of us look like two different places connected by two different high ways, one is a few meters long an the other is a 1000 kilometer long and 1000 times wide.
You are better connected by the short and narrow highway than the wider longer one. Those who are connected both ways with much traffic through the narrow way are better off.